yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
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