you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
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