I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize