i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
