Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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