No more Irish car bombs ever.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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