Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
