How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
