piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
