Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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