I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
