Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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