At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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