remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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