we made out on top of his cat.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
