Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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