She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
