A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
