omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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