Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
