its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
