weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
