Your mouth is God's brothel.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
high people should be assigned attendants
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
