Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
