wanna go halves on a baby?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
