did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
