i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
