you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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