Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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