i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
