I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
