So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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