How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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