Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You ate ashes out of my bong
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
