Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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