PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize