There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
