Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Two words: blizzard sex
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize