the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
