I wish i was in the wii world.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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