Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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