Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
