Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
