census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
