well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
