We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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