Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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