I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
