At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He better not be in your backpack
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
