LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
