She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I need to wash the frat house off of me
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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