Christians are straight up FREAKS
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Randomize
