youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
