I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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