Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Randomize
