I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
