I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
