do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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