Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
cat food counts as protein by the way
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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