i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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