It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
