just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize
