If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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